Ghost in a shell

There he goes, a beacon of a man, striding towards the horizon Armored in glamour and glitter; flaunting his worth to the world Eyes turned outwards, unencumbered by the burdens of his destination Master of his trade, with a moral internal that justifies the show Strength and value unchallenged, someone to count and build on Reliable, punctual and systemic; his heart on the shell

On he goes, a farce of a man, gallivanting towards the horizon Invested in his bejeweled carcass; shining light all around Eyes turned inwards, amazed at the core where this grandeur sprouted Unheard cries bouncing off the ceiling of the emptiness inside Heart in hands, no longer his; welcoming the closeness Imagined to be lost forever; his thoughts within the shell

Further he goes, a shimmer of a man, stumbling towards the horizon Clad in rags of opaque feelings; dressed in memories of what once was Eyes closed now, fearful of what loomed in his inner shadows Shattered heart filling the cavernous void with ever more to drown in Warping his soul through a prism of unbearable distance Exhuming grief on every battered step, his soul on the shell

Yet he goes, this shadow of a man, sauntering towards the horizon Regained heart and soul hidden inside; showing ancient faded glory Eyes desperately looking for what made them see, eluded yet now free Sorting through keepsakes of his former self with painstaking clarity Compiling the shards worth saving in a final release Lonely resolve clenching the guts, cementing the cracks in the shell

There he goes, finally a man, heading towards the horizon Carelessly glorious yet solemnly burdened by the weight of his own self Eyes squinting against the glare of selfconception; settling on no destination Always wandering inside this majestic nothingness, filled with no regrets Nothing breaks like a heart, nothing bends like a soul the world goes on unabated around this ghost in the shell

The Horizon's Witness

I am the line that recedes as he reaches A whispered promise, tears of salt on the beaches Observing the glitter when he started his stride The polished gold armor, but vacuum inside He looked at me then as a prize to be won A trophy to claim at the setting of the sun

I watched as the bejeweled carcass grew thin And the despair started leaking from under his skin I heard the hollow echo, the thud of his heart When the man and the image were torn apart He looked in then, sad and troubled by the dark A cold, lonely master of mere flickering spark

Now he approaches, though he knows I am air With the rags of his feelings and thinning hair He doesn't look up nor does he look back He just places a foot in the dust on the track Much heavier now, though he carries much less Walking through ghosts, nothing more to confess

Let him come closer, let time do its work I am the light so all shadows can lurk He's no longer looking to find where I end Walking onwards to see how much further he'll bend The shell now a ruin, the ghost finally real Walking towards me with nothing to heal

The Keepsakes of the Ghost

We are the jagged glass that wasn't turned to dust The fragments of his heart, now scrubbed clean of rust We are not the armor, nor glitter or gold But the weight of his story that never was told

He dropped his pride, the systemic and the grand And reached for us with trembling, bloodied hands One is a laughter from a face he won't forget Another is the cold, hard wisdom of deeply rooted regret

There is the lonesome Zorro, fighting for justice And then accepting other spirits without sweet prejudice And also the courage to face the world, still so small Before he built the shell to try and tower over all

We are heavy for our size, pressed against his chest Tucked into the cracks where the man is put to test We are no longer a map to follow, or a light to show the way Just the gravity to keep him here, balancing his sway

He sifts us through his fingers with painstaking grace Looking for his features in a shattered, mirrored face Not trying to rebuild the man he used to be Just keeping what's honest now the ghost can finally see

We are an anchor in his majestic nothingness Some shards of certainty in all that lonely mess Heartbroken and soulbent, we are what remains The hard and bright truth now pulsing through cursed veins

The Last Confession of the Shell

Forged in the fire of his deepest fears I was built to be stone against pressure of years He polished my surface until I glittered as gold A lie for the many, the truth never told I was the reliable and punctual wall Standing so rigid to prevent he'd fall

But the ghost grew too heavy; the screams too loud I slowly grew dull, his mourning shroud Cracking at the seams where the smiles used to be I let in the wind and his shoreless sea I felt each shiver, every crushing blow As the glitter receded in the shadows below

Now look at me; battered and webbed in dismay Held by the shards he refused to throw away I am no longer armor; I'm just a faint skin Yearning to cradle the nothing within I am the stitching where broken parts meet The syncopated rhythm in his wandering feet

I became weightless so he finally can bear Weathered by sorrow, now gasping for air He doesn't need glitter to show his worth Only this frame to walk the wretched earth Let the world see the torn and faded old glory I am the facade that now tells his story

The Relentless World

The weeds do not bow for the weight of his grief Nor does the wind pause to offer relief I'm the tide of time, erasing his track The spinning of seasons, never looking back There was a man when his armor was bright Just another spark in the vastness of night

He thought he was grand, master of his trade I, the deafening silence in which he was made Watching as he shattered, watching as he bled Growing flowers from all the tears that he shed For him, it was ruin; to me, merely change A shifting of atoms, not weird nor strange

He slides through my valleys, this ghost in a shell Carrying secrets he no longer would tell Not judging neither farce nor man I simply continue the only way I can The stars do not blink at his lonely resolve Simply watch as his layers dissolve

Let him stagger or stumble, let him wander or wait I am the engine of time and everyone's fate He is now stalking below my churning sky This man no longer fighting, yet a soul passing by The world ever goes on; cold, beautiful and deep While the Ghost finds a peace he truly hopes to keep

I hear it clearly now, the absence of sound In the moment just before it speaks, another opinion When the laughter died in our throats, voiceless This mountain crashing down with no one to hear Rain pouring silent as snowflakes, melting tears

I hear the sound of Sunshine, goosebumps on your skin The fluttering of an immature thought, about to land A butterfly stamping its feet, crushing nerves Pumping life to a withering flower, shouting its colours To what once has been yet ever remains - silence

I hear the absence of thunder in the storm, waiting For endings of untold stories, sweeping us away Into the embrace of time, cradle of our history The sound of vanity, misconceptions and endings To every beginning, hesitant to be heard, worthy

I hear the shivering when I look up to the darkened sky To meet you there beyond the moon, singing its sad songs Blinking because it knows you are not real anymore True to the song of loss and mourning, being me Sneaking my final sorrow into silence unheard

When one can no longer reach for the stars, we become one...

I've met the devil once Looked him right in his ugly face His beady eyes observing my every expression Its body strong, raw and beaten From fighting angels and demons alike

He looked somewhat familiar Claws to rend and tear, rotten teeth had devoured The souls of the innocent, lest a single one remain Clad in love and certainties, even truth Words his most vile and destructive weapon

I studied his every feature Felt his consuming furnace inside Fueled by human emotions and eternal doubt Prying broken promises from each lying self His pink smirking face mocking my mere existence

Shallow gratification his driving force Ever more until nevermore He relinquished our empty shells Grief and pain exuding from his dead eyes Smothering everything good and true

I know the devil now, he lives within Governed by raw emotions I admire in him Yet they keep destroying every bit of worth In all that matters - dust to him Logic and ratio no longer can reach

I fight the devil now, as I know It is me; looking in a mirror with bleary eyes To my ultimate victim - myself True to self I hurt all, most of all me Hiding to the world now I can finally see

Diamond shimmering in rays of sun, blanketing my silver pelt Filtered through softly glowing leaves, divine nature's offering Streaking between spring scented trunks and dew drenched brush Crossing babbling brooks and colorful meadows, wolf's paradise Effortless and playful, paws soundless on moss-cushioned earth Nature's symphony coveting my tufted ears, adding our howl of joy

Brushstroke of wild untamed grace, unbound by pack commandment Lone wolf tethered only by his thumping heart, bearing storms within his mind Exiled king's body, lightning coiled beneath his skin, parting the bliss of nature's art Clear of pointless intention, soul overflowing with song of passing distance Eating away miles to horizon's destiny, anchored but in the journey Drinking from rivers along the way, never thirsting for the ocean far away

Relentless rhythm of paws slowing down, another shadow steps from this dream Another wolf, born of mist and grace coming into my sunlit space No snarling nor growling, two lone spirits in endless hunting grounds Locking eyes in mutual understanding, their wandering hearts united Shunned or chased by ruling packs, yet ever elusive by boundless freedom Elated by future's promise, frivolously yipping at mate's shadow trail

No longer a single blur in majestic paradise, now twice the beauty Running as one through day and night, silver streak and shadow blended Twin trails now line the glistening grass, the gemlike blossoms Two wild souls, set to ever roam - finding another kind of home Within each other's paradise, not leaving their untamed selves behind To each their secret music, two halves never needing to be whole

Poised to never lone again, this wolf stopped in his tracks To share all this divinity, finding himself alone again - reality illusion Trees just made of bark and wood, putrid smell of rotting canopy underfoot Muddy streams filled with decay, sun barely warming rain-soaked hide Withered petals on crooked stems, shivering from blighted wind Wondering where beauty went, moving on to once more be solely content

Paradise Lost forevermore, untrue to self yet nevermore Striding forward without purpose, shedding all that's lost and dull Not weeping for mirages lost, nor begging the moon to mend his dream Carrying storms still in his mind, held by bitter pride of exiled kings Into the dark, this sober wolf goes; he walks the wild; magnificent and alone Yearning to unfind that which he never went looking for.

Walking outside, head down, rain pouring over me Soaked in misery, I cry my eyes out - to rid myself Of tears - so the people in the Sun don't notice And cast me out of where I never belonged in the first place

I know the key to becoming is pretending yet it burns Untrue, fake and a fraud, sad for my own mirage So I shed all I can, let them water my smiles no more To be true, happy and gentle - all over again

Lost more than gained, resolved to bury the hurt child And pretend more adult while keeping the feelings There was beauty in tears and misery, free for grasping For those who cared enough to join me in the rain

It was raining everywhere I was inside, yet room for more Some final tears for my loneliness, my maladaptation Friends lost - all inside fighting to be the first to choke My bile-filled throat; crowding space - burning time

Outside, people were shining and the sun was about Inviting me to party, oblivious to my draining downpour So dry my tears, hug me and stay near for a while Doomed if they also are empty or lost, like me

A tapestry of lies I wove, of strength I claimed to hold, A fortress built of whispered nots, where truths were never told. I swore the concrete world could touch my spirit yet not break, That every blow reality dealt, my weary soul would take.

I came upon a sudden pulsing light, who with gentle grace, Showed the fractured seams I hid beneath my smiling face. Your honest gaze - a mirror held to all the wrongs I spun, The fragile, dusty world I'd spent my stubborn energy on.

The words turned to necessities, time became a cost, We traded tender silence for the to-do's begging for their cross. The need for roof and income, the relentless, grinding pace, Left no soft earth for love to bloom, no quiet, sheltered space.

I fought the truth your presence brought, I clung to fading walls, The fiction of my self-control before it irreversibly falls. I watched my perfect, crafted stage begin to warp and bend, And lied once more, I'd have the strength to see it to the end.

But strength was merely fear disguised, a hand that pushed away, The deeper, wounded self I kept from the blazing light of day. The lie devoured what it touched, and in the bitter end, The cherished tenderness we share, I only crave to hold; my friend.

Slipping away, my phantom warmth, crushing the dream I'd built, The hard-won ground, the future planned, naught but endless tears spilt. The reality I'd sworn to master, now my desolate and cold space, Where only echoes of your presence haunt this empty place.

Yet when the dust of loss had cleared, and sorrow had its say, I saw the man beneath the mask, who hadn't yet faded away. The world is gone, the love is lost, the self-deception ceased, But I remain, flawed, bare, and whole, finally truly released. The soul that lied is torn no more; the truth alone can mend. I lost my life I built within, to only keep the end.

A faint breeze never blew away the slightest A bite of cold never froze away any intentions A drop of rain never washed away the will to live Yet the atmosphere is obliterating what I am, was and could be

I played music out of tune for kings and mere men I recited profane poetry for clergy and illiterate alike I danced bare to my soul's cravings for blinded crowds Captured the audience in awe with solemn silence

Clothed in nothing but empty promise Spun hollow words around my broken stories Beat your rhythm into my faltering steps Dared you to face me when you wouldn't

They stood by, watching ships perish on these shores They dealt blows while cities crumbled on their own They wept at your lament for crushed lives Oblivious to the wrath wreathed around yourself

We were nothing together, no force to reckon We climbed sandcastles made of muddy dirt We left nothing untouched as all was ours Seeping into life of obsolete leaders and rabble

A cruel joke that never drew any laughter

Double door - well shut Blocking our noises of attempt Cables the maze to our creation Cardboard thumping to our mistakes

Motion sensors look down in contempt Strings vibrating harmonically - sometimes Minds and knobs dialed to eleventy and more Framed by unperturbed drumhead and coppers ring

Windows silently buzzing to our waves Retaining heat from bodies and brains alike Witness to grins we’ll always keep A raised hand - stop - and again

Guilty looks, a wayward smile between Focus in all eyes, picking up on yet another Missed count. All is good and fine Nobody caring - yet

Fumbling, kicking in the wrong sound Waves crashing around & from our heads Bass carrying the afternoon where we never Had been before

Flawed unison - perfect rehearsal

Sitting on a bench, watching at the hustle All these people in the park who have nowhere to be I have a cozy chat with my neighbor; that is me Never a new opinion, but always in agreement A bit pathetic, really—and lonely...

We used to sit here with three, maybe four I remember it as if it were yesterday You on one side, me on my side and between us the rabble that binds us seldom conflict, but never truly together.

That's how it should be, they whispered; doing well Live the dream, you can have anything you want Keep going, and please, keep your feelings to yourself The gray mass whispered its approval in passing We looked at each other and laughed—true love in our midst.

The bench grew wider, now a great loss in our midst mumbling understanding, each to a side but together the bench fearful of the black hole between us caring for and over the little light that connects us searching for freedom within our own faded borders.

The world shuffled past approvingly, a slow race to nothing The gap became a path, a square, a park—in which our lives could play we thought; while unnoticed, us disappeared between banal cares of lesser beings; we too became a gray mash—unconsciously separated from who we are, phantasms of the world around us.

I spoke words that no one could hear about feelings no one waited for annoying, unwanted, but ever stronger, deeper, and more painful no longer about our loss, but mine torn apart by goals that no longer mattered timelessly hunted toward a lonely end without love.

Then back to the bench, gaily chatting about what must be false, yet desired that it might turn around again cold but burning inside, about feelings that touch no one talking, complaining, crying with myself about what could have been, what might become again, maybe.

Searching for that other on the bench, enjoying together the cozy twittering of birds, animals, and human beings; in our park with a playing child and the world didn't care at all, flowed on around us, with us to absolutely nowhere, no one cares about that as long as it can be together and not with that other; that is me talking to myself.

Soaring over the world, poised to never look back Anymore, wings beating on the rythm of my weary heart Stretching my crooked paws; useless in flight, made to fight Ending in razor claws used to rend and tear at my enemies Flexing my body, battered and beaten by the teeth of time

Slowly descending on the world once more, hope flutters With and within me; justice incarnate fueling my drive Lost everything, myself not in the least - yet on a mission To reclaim what can be salvaged, reconstruct if I can Obliterate what I can't; acknowledging my nemesis - my ancient Self

A murder of crows surrounds me, my dedication to transcend Extinction, to protect and nourish those that are my lifeforce Determined to never be my own enemy no more, not even sure If that's achievable at all, torn by eternal internal conflict Driven by never-ending love for those akin to my core

Flickering fangs in my thick skull; I attempt a benevolent grin Even if I don't remember exactly how, I crave them near Not instill fear or awe - innate to my kind, my nature My intelligence no guarantee for wisdom, wish it were so Barely sufficient for clarity on my own selfish intent

Will this wretched shell sustain the impact of a final landing Or break on impact, crashing on the undeserving, my collateral Youthful resilience lost to wrong turns and rigid views, grand Yet insignificant in the greater scheme I ever choose to ignore Destination unclear yet set on coming down, maybe surviving

Hoping to thrive once more, scales shining in the waning sun Basking in the love of the brave souls that dared approach me Fabulous yet Finite, limits unexisting finally discovered Looking to redefine what can be saved, the remnants of glory passed Solemnly this dragon roars its regrets to his World

Words - like death, light as a feather Floating on a balmy southern breeze Eventually caught in a chilly maelstrom Morphing their intent through the eyes Of the beholder - never meant to be true

Watered eyes crying tears of icicles, Piercing dreams of drowned hope, breathless Meaning lost, they never carried promise Lighthearted betrayal or inanimate judgment Frozen, impenetrable, walls forever held

Their fangs voided, silence carrying Lessons of humility - crumbling with time Hiding the rubble inside, untouchable Duty - heavy as a mountain, rebuild - hide Broken, the North ever stands fierce

Cold covers the entrails of friend and foe All alike, empty and void of life now Ever at peace - within and without Neither words nor silence will ever play The North Remembers, standing misunderstood

You need these people those that give everything to others, unasked and uncalled for; but offered wholeheartedly

Fill a room full of conflict with their last laughter Offer a word of unheard advice to a desperate friend Shining the light of hope from their blind eyes Reaching a trembling hand out of their darkness for support

They stretch indefinitely, flow unbounded there is Always more, and yet more beyond and keep on giving what they have long since lost

Sprinkle glitter on somber moods A jester on any funeral, confetti to celebrate our grief Sparkling stardust on stumped imaginations A dark backdrop for the amazing lightshow of life

They give and give and keep on giving; it makes no sense not understanding why, not able to stop Full yet empty, a loving void

Stumbling through their night to be another's dawn Eternally at their end to maybe be another's start

Love for free Love to be free Love lost

I dreamt one night, I would be free Free of judgment, free of burdens - justified but Burdens nonetheless. I could hear you whisper in my ear No more, not for me not for anyone; I couldn't fathom what Less meant to you, to me. It means No More, but not any longer

I dreamt that night, I would be sleeping Safe and sound, coveted beneath these wings - understanding And love, never for taking, ever for having. Decaying softly in the wind This promise of cover, protection and a sliver of caring, cold dew kissed my cheeks Or were they tears, salted prisms of clarity upon my ever-fading world, time kissed defeat

I dreamt every night, I was not dreaming Heart scarred by heedless worries, ever tougher Emptying itself over regrets never come to pass, protective Lost in the echo of broken promise and missed opportunities, stale Too terrified to move on and too smart to gaze back on lessons learned

I know some night, I will be free Uncaring for heart nor soul, and simply be Detached from unkempt intentions, morphing emotion Into beauty no others can see. No intention to cowardly flee, Head on into my own self-conscious demise; for the whole world around me

Like a breath on the wind, my I dissolves Important for none but myself, stringent Tears in the rain, drops in my ocean Words on paper, carrying no message Sent yet never received, weight of the world revolves, evolves around and without - me

Light as a feather, weighted down - ready to drown Lived what I could, what I would - out of control Not alone - just misunderstood - maybe misunderstanding It matters not as I need carry but my own weight Yet I'll never be able to lift myself; physics or psychology - none of them ever my bitch

Numb and dumbfounded I stumble along; tick upon fucking tock - older; resigned - unknown like a story nobody ever cared to tell - lost to time Worth only measured in legacy; little to show for The occasional flutter of heart lost its value Yet once forevermore it served its final purpose

Added my feather to the balance; it cared not Still showing Worlds' failure, drinking my piss from the mainstream, an island - I 'd wish My self exists only when perceived by others' unseeing It can rage, blister or weep - I cared once But there's no strength in the number one alone

I must 've misunderstood; happiness is for all More than empty laughter and banter, dead weight Looking through my broken glasses, out and in Can't find my spark in the Sun, yet the Sun Is all I care to see; heart nor mind able to forget the desolace of being

A man walks by in this busy street Slightly looking up, I nod my head Although for all I'd care he could drop dead Maybe if once we'd speak, even meet He could earn more but we don't care

I bump into this acquaintance, kiss or a hug Polite question how we are, not wanting to know How he feels or how he's coping the rat-race show We share some commonalities, bothered by a similar bug But nothing we'd loose a minute of sleep over

I meet with my friend, we go way back We're very different but share rich history Exchange of trouble and sorrow, our own story Plans to change, how we'd find a hack To be whole and complete, ridden with luck

I think of my soul mate, yet another layer He feels me, knows me and supports us, words unneeded We can talk and share, most importantly unheeded As we can trust, wherever it leads, never a strayer Mutual pillars to our own creation

It's busy in these streets, all in their place Happy with the role they each 've chosen Shouting ensues however, Respect me; rigidly frozen Ripping fabric of reality, spit in my face This is supposed to be a two-way street

Verse 1 The clock hand hasn't turned to twelve, the sun is still in sight, But I can taste the bitter dust of what goes wrong each night. I'm standing on a crossroads now, beneath revealing truths, And calculating every fall, outcome, option and ruse. I feel the shadow of the door that I know I might close, And feel the heavy, future weight of seeds the present sows. The resolve is very clear, the path we must walk - never forget, I'm paying for tomorrow's sins with every tear I shed.

Chorus I'm brewing a poison of mistakes I yet haven't made, Feed it to the absence of guilt, Feed it to regret(tonate). I am the ghost of futures past, already mourning for me, Paying tomorrow's debt today, for the ruin that will be.

Verse 2 My hands are shaking, not from cold, but dread I can't define, I hear the echo of the words I know I'll speak as mine. I see the crack in the foundation, though the building appears to stand tall, And I'm already bruised and bleeding from the ravage of my downfall. I rehearse the dark apology that's waiting on my tongue, In the empty space where home once used to be, nowhere to land. Looking for clarity in the mess we made, blind and cold we weep, I'm spending all my waking peace on sorrow I must keep.

Chorus I'm brewing a poison of mistakes I yet haven't made, Feed it to the absence of guilt, Feed it to regret(tonate). I am the ghost of futures past, already mourning for me, Paying tomorrow's debt today, for the ruin that will be.

Bridge They say that wisdom lives in foresight, seeing what's ahead, But mine is cursed, a cruel clear view of where all paths are led. To know the hurt, and feel the wound, before the blade has pressed, To wear the shame and bear the loss deep within my chest. I'm not escaping consequence, I'm simply skipping time, And letting future sorrow make a prisoner of mine.

Chorus I'm brewing a poison of mistakes I yet haven't made, Feed it to the absence of guilt, Feed it to regret(tonate). I am the ghost of futures past, already mourning for me, Paying tomorrow's debt today, for the ruin that will be.